Eminem interview with MTV. (2002)
Eminem's current
mode of transportation has none
of the plush luxuries you would
assume a rapper might have in his
traveling venue: no TV, no PlayStation
2, no DVD player and no roof.
"Throw it up," the
Detroit rhyme Goliath says, looking
down at an anxious fan waving
a CD. Eminem's in New York City,
traveling with a small entourage
around Manhattan on a double-decker
bus, made for tourists to go site-seeing.
But Slim Shady is the spectacle
today as he rides downtown from
Times Square. "I remember them days, just
being so f---ing hungry,"
Eminem laughs after trying to
catch the guy's CD that was flung
to him from street level. "People
will go to such lengths. I would
do anything to let people hear
my sh--. I didn't care, [I was
like] 'Please dub my sh--, please
listen to my demo.' " Nowadays, there aren't too many
people who haven't heard Eminem's
irresistible irreverence, and
while he loves to be heard, nothing
will ever beat a day at home chilling
with his daughter, Hailie Jade.
And while his young one thinks
her dad's gone crazy, Eminem insists
he's quite the sane one. It's
the world around him that's gone
bonkers. Atop the double-decker and on
a hotel roof in Manhattan, Shaheem
Reid and Sway Calloway got the
lowdown on Marshall Mathers, the
man. Among the things they chatted
about were how he rates himself
as a dad, what he thinks of his
own father, why he doesn't cover
himself in ice and what it feels
like to have strangers jumping
into your pool ... MTV: Jay-Z has a new album
coming out where he says fame
is both a gift and a curse. Do
you agree with Jigga's assessment? Eminem: You gotta take
the ups and downs with it. Fame
has got its pros and cons. The
pros would be you don't have to
ride one of these [double- decker
buses] anymore. The cons would
be all the craziness that comes
with it. When you get rid of some
of your small problems, like having
bills, [and then transition] to
getting to where somebody like
me or Jay-Z is, you have a whole
new slew of problems, like lawsuits
and other things I never knew
could exist. MTV: The tour is going
well and you've sold millions
of records, but you're one of
the few rappers that we never
hear talking about ice or cars
or your bank account. What do
you do with your money? Better
yet, what's the first big-ticket
item you bought? Eminem: The first big-ticket
item that I bought was a house.
When I first started seeing money,
I treated that like it was the
only house I would ever buy and
the only royalty check that I
would ever get. That's how I treat
every [check]. The truth is, you
don't know what's gonna happen
tomorrow. This is a crazy ride
and nothing is guaranteed. I could
wake up tomorrow and this could
all be over. You have to invest. MTV: What was it like
owning your first home? Eminem: At the time I bought
it, I had no idea how famous I
really was. It was across the
street from a trailer park and
we had kids coming across all
day knocking on the door. We had
a pool in the backyard, kids were
jumping in the pool. It was crazy.
The house was on a main road so
we had people whipping in my driveway
like, "Em, what up?"
I literally couldn't go outside
my house. So we deaded that real
quick, sold the house, lost money
and bought a new house. That's
probably the best investment I've
made, my new house. MTV: You say you weren't
aware of your fame when you first
started blowing up. When did you
start sensing how popular you
were becoming? Eminem: The first time
I really sensed it was flipping
through channels and seeing my
face on every channel. You kind
of get sick of yourself. The first
time I experienced it was probably
walking through a mall or something
and not realizing how many people
really know who you are. I probably
got the most unmistakable nose
and chin in the business. Sometimes
I'll go out and cover up [most]
of my face. If they see one eye
[people know it's me], it's crazy. MTV: Your daughter Hailie
is obviously a huge inspiration
in your life and music, and the
two of you have even recorded
a song together. But does she
know the depths of her daddy's
fame yet? Eminem: Yeah, she knows.
She's six and she's getting the
grasp of that whole thing. She's
starting to realize. She goes
to school like, 'My dad's on TV,'
and these other kids, their dads
aren't on TV. MTV: Hailie is becoming
a mini celeb in her own right.
She seemed really comfortable
recording "My Dad's Gone
Crazy." Do you see her following
in your footsteps and making music
when she gets older? Eminem: When she's 25,
maybe she can. She's gotta grow
up first. She scares me a little
bit 'cause she's got that "little
star" quality. MTV: So will Hailie be
getting any siblings anytime soon?
Maybe you could spearhead a hip-hop
Partridge family. Eminem: No more kids.
I'm good with Hailie. I'll spoil
her and give her everything I
never had. I have other family
members that I take care of and
want to take care of, but as far
as kids, I'm cool. No more, one
is enough. MTV: As you approach the
big 3-0, are you getting this
whole parenting thing down pat?
How would you rate yourself as
a father? Eminem: I do the best
I can right now. I truly believe
I'm doing the right thing and
I do a good job. I'm a father
before anything. I'm a father
before I pick up the mic. I'm
a father before I'm Eminem. Of
course I'm not the perfect parent.
There may be things I'm doing
wrong and I'll find out in 10,
15 years, but right now I'm doing
the best job I can and that's
all I can do. MTV: As much as she depends
on you, in "Say Goodbye Hollywood"
you liken Hailie to sort of your
lifeline, saying "I gotta
get up, thank God/ I got a little
girl/ And I'm a responsible father/
So not a lot of good I'd be to
my daughter/ Layin' in the bottom
of the mud ..." Do you think
that your daughter has saved your
life? Eminem: I think that in
a roundabout way she did save
my life. I always had drive coming
up and I always wanted to make
it as a rapper. That was my dream.
But when she was born, it was
the reality of "I have to
do this." I had nothing else.
I had no high school education.
I want her to be able to grow
up and look back on this and be
like — whether people agree with
it or not — "My dad put me
on a song. My dad wrote songs
for me, my dad said my name all
over the place." I want her
to be able to look back in magazines
and everything and just know.
I don't ever wanna be like my
father was to me. MTV: In the video for
"Cleaning Out My Closet,"
you talk a lot about your mother,
but some of the most mind-searing
images portray your recollection
of how your father treated you
and your mother. Have you ever
tried to reach out to him? Eminem: I have never spoke
to my father and I never will.
I'm cool. It's not a void in my
life, [I don't feel there's something]
missing or anything. I'm happy
and I've got who I need in my
life and I think I've found a
peace, an inner peace. I don't
feel like I ever need to meet
him one day and be like, "Oh
my life is complete." I don't
want to know him. MTV: You've been feuding
with your mother for quite some
time, you've dissed her numerous
times in songs and even took a
couple of shots at her during
the Anger Management Tour. What
type of toll, if any, has your
estrangement taken on Hailie's
relationship with her grandmother? Eminem: That's a difficult
situation because my little brother
lives with me now so my mother
occasionally has to come there.
I know that I can't imagine what
goes on in a six-year-old's head.
I know there's probably part of
[Hailie] that maybe wants to see
her grandmother but she doesn't
know what's going on, and I just
basically keep her sheltered from
it. When [my mother] does come
to the house, I try to occupy
Hailie. When she's old enough
and she wants to know her grandmother,
she can make that decision on
her own. But as of right now,
I'm not gonna subject my daughter
to any of that. MTV: You have a first-hand
perspective of what it's like
to come from a home where the
parents are not together. How
much of an effect do you think
your divorce from Kim will have
on Hailie? Eminem: I think that it's
good that this happened while
Hailie was real young and didn't
get so used to seeing her mother
and father together all the time.
I think it's better we did it
early because sh-- was rocky for
a while ... I don't wanna subject
my seed to that type of turmoil,
'cause it was turmoil a couple
years ago. I think that right
now when I look at it, she's a
happy little girl. To me she doesn't
show any signs that something's
bothering her or anything like
that. Maybe when she gets older
she could tell me, maybe it was
something I didn't know. MTV: So now that you're
single once again, are you going
the Puffy route and looking for
a new girl to ride, ride, ride? Eminem: No. I'm not looking
for a new woman. I'm cool being
single — not to say I don't get
down (laughing). But as far as
a relationship or getting married
again, I'm cool, man. I learned
my lesson and I've seen what it
is and what it can and can't be
and I feel like I've learned enough
from my first mistake. Let that
be the last one and keep moving
forward. Relationships? No.